Take 5

I needed a little help today.
Some days are just like that.
Walking into a middle school in late April is a crap-shoot.

Is it going to come up good?
Or is it going to shatter?
I never know.

Today I had to work really hard to keep my sparkle
from darkening too much.
I had to force myself to focus on the good.
I made up my mind to look at only the good in my day.

This didn't happen all at once.
Nope.
I had a big gloomy Eeyore cloud over my head for most of the day.
I really don't like being gloomy.
It's not at my core nature.
But sometimes the gloomy, negativity of a couple teenagers
occasionally latches on to me and like a fungus,
it gets under my skin.

And then at lunch,
I had had enough.
I vented to my friends (Thank you!)
and ate homemade Macaroni and Cheese.
(I'm sooo glad that I made that last night!)

Slowly, I felt the gloom lift.
Just a little.
Then a little more.
During 5th period, I had most of it gone,
but at the end of class
I still needed a little extra boost to free myself completely.

And then...
I saw it.
Two of my goofy students were dancing,
and in that moment, I knew what I needed.
A dance party!
Whoop! Whoop!

I turned on some Disco music
and we had a 5 minute dance party.
Those two boys had a dance off...
squaring off with their "moves."
Other students joined in.
Instantly the giggles rose in my throat,
and the next thing I knew,
I was laughing really hard.

Yes,
it was completely goofy.
No, it isn't a part of the curriculum.
But when most of their (and my) day
is consumed by standards, targets, and state testing,
sometimes we just need to take 5.
5 minutes to be goofy.
5 minutes to laugh, smile, and most importantly boogie down.



So in your stressful moments,

remember that it's just a moment.
Just a little spot of time.
It may be stressful
and the gloom may overwhelm you,
but don't let it totally consume you.
Ultimately it will pass,
but you can help it along by finding your own 5 minutes.
Maybe it will be a silly dance party like mine.
Maybe it will be a quick walk outside.
Or maybe it will being greeted at home by someone you love.

Life is so much more than the things that bring us gloom.

Whatever it is,

own it.

Breathe it in.

And if you're like me,

just DANCE!

What is beautiful?

Today with my 7th graders, we talked about “beauty.”
Now this is not the stereotypical type of beauty that media tries to convince us is true.
That beauty is deceiving.
It skews our view of the world.
That’s not the beauty we talked about.
This type of beauty is around us, in the world, every day.




Friends greeting each other with a warm hug.
Rain dancing on the roof tops.
Leaves crunching under our feet.
The crack of a wooden bat, hitting a baseball high into the sky.

That kind of beauty.
The beauty that makes our jaw drop,
makes us smile, and stare in awe.
Yeah. That beauty.
It’s perfect in it's simplicity.
And it’s truly beautiful.
One of my goals this year is to show you, yes you, how amazing teens are.
I receive different reactions when people hear that I teach 7th  graders, and 8th graders.

Some people look like they’re in pain…wincing, wide-eyed and a little nervous.
Some just tell me they’re sorry.
Well, don’t be.
Teens are amazing.
They can be weird and a little emotional, but I know a lot of adults that are that way too.
But the coolest thing, is that they teach me every single day.
They remind me of what it was like to be their age and struggling to find out who I should be.

So what is beautiful to them?
(These sound a lot like the things bouncing around in my head.)

Here is what they said.
• Flowers blooming in the morning
• Sound of a beating heart
• Draining a 3-pointer
• The sound of the ocean waves crashing on the shore
• Feeling the rain hit my palm.
• A warm blanket
• All that’s left of nature, like a moss covered forest or an eroded canyon.
• The swish of a basketball net
• The fall when leaves are everywhere and the trees are orange.
• The smell of burnt rubber and an engine revving.
• Skateboards landin
• The bounce of a basketball
• Rain falling into a puddle
• The smell of wet dirt
• Soccer ball bouncing off someone’s shin-guards
• Nails tapping on a desk
• Pages in a book turning
• Twinkling lights at Christmas
• Orange lady bugs
• Trees covered in snow
• Art
• Being on the tube with the waves splashing up at you
• Ants swarming around a piece of food on the ground
• A cat’s purr
• The squeak from the hamster wheel
• The crack when 2 helmets hit during a football game
• Breakdancing
• Seeing salmon swimming freely
• Portland, at night
• Fireworks lighting up the night
• My family
• Waterfalls
• Hiking through nature
• The sound of bubbles of air escaping from the water
• When you see the white snow glisten and snowflakes fall down
• Fire popping
• The sound of a car going slowing over gravel
• When I look up and see the beautiful sky with a sideline of trees.
• Lightning
• I enjoy the sound of hail. It sounds like a big crowd of people clapping
• Me and my dogs’ hair- I love to feel the way my fingers flow through it.
• The sound of waves crashing down when it’s completely quiet
• Pouring rain, when min-streams form on the hills
• Whistling wind
• Thunder
• The roar of a crowd
• The smell of vanilla

And…this…
“When I kick the soccer ball, I hear it first loud. It’s exciting, and breath-taking. Then it flies up high
and far. It leaves me thinking and anticipating where it might go. I see it soar through the air then
with one swift thud it hits the grass. One, two, three, four bounces, and it stops. So beautifully into
the goal or wherever it was going.”

Help show the kids in your life what the word “beauty” really means, and not perpetuate the type of beauty that media portrays.
There is so much beauty.
Look around you…
Squint if you must…
See it?!
Right there!
Wow. Isn't it amazing?
Yeah, I think so too.

Circle of Trust

 

I remember a couple years ago making the statement, "I'm good. I don't want to meet anyone new. My circle of friends is perfect, just the way it is." Of course, at the time it was perfect. I really wasn't ready to let people into the protected, safe world, that I had created. It was created out of necessity, and perfect in it's simplicity. Plus, at the time it was all I needed. I had too much to handle and trusting new people was a challenge...potentially painful. I couldn't handle any more pain.

 But even when I said it, I knew or hoped that wouldn't be the case forever.

"Heal the past,

Live the present,

Dream the future."

I hoped for a future where people were kind.

A time when I could step out again
and be the Lori I once was.

I really liked being her.

She giggled, belly-laughed,
and even snorted a time or ten, at a joke.

She sparkled.

I really missed that in my guarded world.

So, what happened to make this guarded girl step out?

People.

The kind of people that knew kindness and gave it away, freely.

The kind of people that looked around them and saw needs to be met.

The people who greet you with a smile and accept you into their fold, nothing asked.

That was comforting.

These people created a new world for me.

A world where even if it's pouring down rain, scorching hot,

muddy, ground so packed with rock or clay that you can't dig, or a perfectly blue sky...you can't imagine being anywhere else.

They don't really know it, but they helped me trust again.

It happened quickly...they made me feel safe.

They gave me a new extended family.

I love them all and would help them with anything.

Because as my original "circle of trust" knows, once I let you in, you're in.

Man, that sounds a lot like a border collie I know.
Wonder where he picked that up from?

The only difference is that I don't growl...not often anyway. ;)

So, who are these amazing people? 

You've seen their pictures,
you may even know their names,

But you can be guaranteed that they are all a part of

Fences For Fido.

They don't just build fences.

They take a broken, battered hearts and make them whole again.
Like mine.

They made me sparkle brighter than ever.

They made me, well....a better me.

So thank you all, from the little pieces of my broken heart.

You may have not known, but with each fence, each smile, hug, and twist of the tie, 

you helped put the final pieces of my heart back together.

And even better than that...I see you sparkle bright with me.

Just follow that sparkling smiles and hugs in the pictures,

and feel the love that they give.
These people are experts at love.

Blips and Dips

Life is funny. 

Not haha funny, but funny in the way that things occur.

Life rocks you...in good and bad ways, but it definitely rocks.

I'd like to think that it will always rock! 

Like the awesome rocking.

The kind of rocking that you close your eyes,
blinking back the tears, open them again,
still shocked that what you're experiencing is actually real.

Rocking in that you laugh so hard that you can't breathe, 

but you continue to laugh until the pain forces you to stop.

I love and cherish those moments.

I wish that life was just those...but then,
would you really realize how amazing that moment is?

I wouldn't know.

Life has given me enough low moments to really appreciate the awesome.

Okay, so I'm not taking about just low moments...those are bad.

But my lows go further than that....
those who know those moments, well sorry.
But thank you from the bottom of my heart that you stayed and carried me though it.

Nothing makes you appreciate the good, than Hell. 

Hell is just that.

The bottom.

I've hit that and had the floor drop out from under me,
only to spiral further into the abyss.

Then happen over again.

Life does that.

It's funny that way.

But through all, I still hold on the little tiny bit of tread
that somewhere there is something better.
That in the moment, it is just that... a moment.

Someone dear told me after a huge tumble down that, 

"Someday I would look back on this time in my life as a blip.

Just that blip.

And poof, it would be gone."

In that moment, through tears I couldn't imagine such a time.

"How could, or would I climb out of this dark dungeon of abyss?"

She had a simple reply, "one step every day. Just one, until you can take two."

I had to be reminded of this often, especially when I lost footing and tumbled.

Some days we can move quickly.

Charging forward with great strides, while others find us paralyzed.

Those days of paralysis are terrifying, but I learned a couple special tricks.

 

Ok...it's not so special, but it was difficult for me...

One-

Ask for help.

Ask. for. it.

There is always someone ready and willing to help. 

The self-reliant girl in me struggled with it,
but there is strength in the asking.

Do it.

Second trick...

This might be harder on the dark days, 

but try...even if you really. hate. everything...

Find something to make you smile.

I used two kinds of therapy in my dark days.

One was actually therapy and lots of it.

The second was a Murphy, dog-centered therapy.

The dog-park therapy.

I was no one there. I liked that.

No one expected anything from me.

I could talk or not talk to anyone.

No one knew me.

It was a break from my reality for a moment in time.

I found peace there.

We all need peace.

 

See, life is funny.

But any moment good or bad, will one day be a blip.

I hope that all your days are filled with joy, but if not, don't worry.

Even a sparkly girl like myself has struggle to shine a time or four.

The beautiful thing is that if you have sparkled once,
you'll sparkle again.

I believe in you.

You will sparkle.

LOOK!

Look at that!!!

I can see it already.