Raw

Raw.
Sometimes I feel raw.
Too fragile, too exposed in my emotions.
Lately I've been drawn into reading books that leave me feeling that way.
But instead of picking up something else light and happy, I again, choose raw.
But raw is fragile.
Raw is emotion.
Raw changes you.
Well, at least to me it does.



On Monday I picked up three random books.
They are random in that I had never seen them in our school library before.
Instantly I was drawn in.
You see I’m trying to find new novels for our classes.
Finding books for a class novel isn't as easy as it may seem.
The book has to be high interest, must move, and must promote deep thinking.
The second book has proven to be all of those things.
Split by Swati Avasthi

As I began reading, I was sucked into the lives of the characters.
It was almost too real.
Too raw.
But aren't those needed for true thought and reflection?
That being said, it’s not an easy read.
Abuse is never an easy topic.

I cringe and feel sick to my stomach.
Sitting here, thinking about it, I get sick again.
It’s never easy to read something that could have easily become your life,
 if things had been different.
It’s never easy to read the pain and fear that you know all too well.
Because some bruises heal quickly,
while others take much, much longer.
And there are those deep bruises that emerge
even after you thought they have healed.
“Anger is a memory never forgotten.”
(Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen)
How true that is…I’ll never forget.
And I hope with my memory, I can help others.

Watch people…I do.
I watch and listen for what’s missing.
Words not being said.
Silence.
Life not being lived…watch and you’ll see.
And when you see, don’t just stand there.
Do something.
Anything really.
But mostly ask the hard questions.
You know the ones…
I never said it was going to be easy, it never is.
But I remember those that asked me the tough questions…
The love I feel for them, lives in a very special place in my heart.
And because they asked, I’m free and whole.
So from me to you, don’t be afraid to ask.
Don’t be afraid to step in.
They are waiting for you.
Believe me, they are.
Just ask.

What's your power?

Fake Power
People use it all the time. 
The power to control the situation around them, whatever it takes is fake. 
My students and I are reading a novel, Touching Spirit Bear. 
Yes, it’s a book for young adults, 
but I often think of many adults that I have known 
while reading it with the class. 
The main character is a bully.
He’s mean to humans and animals.
He used intimidation to get his way…to make other afraid of him.
He had placed himself in a situation that could lead to death.
Up until he was seriously injured, he blamed others in his life. 
Whatever happened to him was someone else’s fault. 
Know anyone like that? 
Adults do the same thing. 
It’s painful to see kids play the “blame game”, but it’s even more painful to see adults still doing it. 
Taking ownership in your life, for the choices that you've made is key. 
It’s not easy. I've tried it…you can’t lie to yourself and believe it. At least I can’t.
But really, nothing worth anything, is easy.

In the novel, Cole (the main character) has to make the choice to live.
“He wanted to live. In death there was no control, no anger, no one to blame, no choice, no nothing. To 
be alive was to have choice. The power to choose was real power, not the fake power of making others 
afraid.” (98, Mikaelsen)

He had to learn the hard way that choice and living a life of meaning was important. 
Cole had to look around himself and find the reasons to move forward.
I think that we all reach that, at some point in our lives.
What has meaning to you?
What power do you use?
Is the power real or fake?
Is it the power to heal or hurt?
Does it bring joy and wellness to others? Or not?
We all have choices every day that show our true character.

Look around you.
Take a moment and REALLY look.
Do you see that kid shooting hoops by themselves? Maybe they just need someone to play?
That little elderly neighbor, maybe she just needs a smile and a bit of conversation?
It doesn't take much to make someone smile.
Kindness has a way of doing that.
Today, make the power in your world, move mountains of hope and spread joy.

Hugs and a little love,
Lori