Raw

Raw.
Sometimes I feel raw.
Too fragile, too exposed in my emotions.
Lately I've been drawn into reading books that leave me feeling that way.
But instead of picking up something else light and happy, I again, choose raw.
But raw is fragile.
Raw is emotion.
Raw changes you.
Well, at least to me it does.



On Monday I picked up three random books.
They are random in that I had never seen them in our school library before.
Instantly I was drawn in.
You see I’m trying to find new novels for our classes.
Finding books for a class novel isn't as easy as it may seem.
The book has to be high interest, must move, and must promote deep thinking.
The second book has proven to be all of those things.
Split by Swati Avasthi

As I began reading, I was sucked into the lives of the characters.
It was almost too real.
Too raw.
But aren't those needed for true thought and reflection?
That being said, it’s not an easy read.
Abuse is never an easy topic.

I cringe and feel sick to my stomach.
Sitting here, thinking about it, I get sick again.
It’s never easy to read something that could have easily become your life,
 if things had been different.
It’s never easy to read the pain and fear that you know all too well.
Because some bruises heal quickly,
while others take much, much longer.
And there are those deep bruises that emerge
even after you thought they have healed.
“Anger is a memory never forgotten.”
(Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen)
How true that is…I’ll never forget.
And I hope with my memory, I can help others.

Watch people…I do.
I watch and listen for what’s missing.
Words not being said.
Silence.
Life not being lived…watch and you’ll see.
And when you see, don’t just stand there.
Do something.
Anything really.
But mostly ask the hard questions.
You know the ones…
I never said it was going to be easy, it never is.
But I remember those that asked me the tough questions…
The love I feel for them, lives in a very special place in my heart.
And because they asked, I’m free and whole.
So from me to you, don’t be afraid to ask.
Don’t be afraid to step in.
They are waiting for you.
Believe me, they are.
Just ask.