Friday, January 3, 2014

Midnight Ponderings


Sometimes, late at night when I can't sleep, I begin to wonder...
Is anyone out there? 
Does anyone read this silly thing that I write?
I know that they do...
But who are you? 
Do you like me, feel like walking around this big world just observing lives lived,
wondering about their stories? 
I'm not talking about the surface stories... 
"Hey, how's life?"
"Great! Yours?!"
Blah.
You know those because they have no depth, no real meaning.
Those stories serve a purpose, but that's not what I long to hear.
 I want the inner stories.
The moments that change your world.
The time when you, like me, looked around yourself and wanted something else.
The times when you felt like you lived a lie.
Hidden stories that break your heart, or piece it back together.
Your first love, first dance, first anything...
Or the time when the world stopped moving and you were alone.
and for one brief moment you were everything you wanted to be. 
Ahh...that's the best moment.
That's what I want to know.
You.
I want to know you.
Is that weird?

I use this blog as a glimpse into my world.
It's contemplative tonight...
but it's controlled in that I give you what I feel is right
for a time and place. 
Today I felt myself fading.
Just a little.
I felt the pull of my emotional ocean, dragging me out to sea. 
What you may or may not know, is that I've worked hard against that pull.
I've fought hard to not fade.
I've gained so many steps out into a world that is filled with sparkle and shine.
So I don't let myself sink into the deceptive pull of that ocean.
Writing is my solace and it acts as a shovel.
It helps me to find a way through all of the muck.
What is your solace?

Life is complicated.
So are people.
And so are their stories.
Take time to really learn about each other.
The stories we hold close are the ones that make us strong.
Share them with caution, but share them with trust.
Knowing that the past can help strengthen the present.
Together we can fight the emotional pull of life
and not fade away.
We can give each other purpose and hope.

Just a little midnight pondering...
Always with love,
Lori

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