Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Blips and Dips

Life is funny. 
Not haha funny, but funny in the way that things occur.
Life rocks you...in good and bad ways, but it definitely rocks.
I'd like to think that it will always rock! 
Like the awesome rocking.
The kind of rocking that you close your eyes,
blinking back the tears, open them again,
still shocked that what you're experiencing is actually real.
Rocking in that you laugh so hard that you can't breathe, 
but you continue to laugh until the pain forces you to stop.

I love and cherish those moments.
I wish that life was just those...but then,
would you really realize how amazing that moment is?
I wouldn't know.
Life has given me enough low moments to really appreciate the awesome.
Okay, so I'm not taking about just low moments...those are bad.
But my lows go further than that....
those who know those moments, well sorry.
But thank you from the bottom of my heart that you stayed and carried me though it.
Nothing makes you appreciate the good, than Hell. 
Hell is just that.
The bottom.
I've hit that and had the floor drop out from under me,
only to spiral further into the abyss.
Then happen over again.
Life does that.
It's funny that way.

But through all, I still hold on the little tiny bit of tread
that somewhere there is something better.
That in the moment, it is just that... a moment.
Someone dear told me after a huge tumble down that, 
"Someday I would look back on this time in my life as a blip.
Just that blip.
And poof, it would be gone."
In that moment, through tears I couldn't imagine such a time.
"How could, or would I climb out of this dark dungeon of abyss?"
She had a simple reply, "one step every day. Just one, until you can take two."

I had to be reminded of this often, especially when I lost footing and tumbled.
Some days we can move quickly.
Charging forward with great strides, while others find us paralyzed.
Those days of paralysis are terrifying, but I learned a couple special tricks.

 
Ok...it's not so special, but it was difficult for me...
One-
Ask for help.
Ask. for. it.
There is always someone ready and willing to help. 
The self-reliant girl in me struggled with it,
but there is strength in the asking.
Do it.

Second trick...
This might be harder on the dark days, 
but try...even if you really. hate. everything...
Find something to make you smile.
I used two kinds of therapy in my dark days.
One was actually therapy and lots of it.
The second was a Murphy, dog-centered therapy.
The dog-park therapy.
I was no one there. I liked that.
No one expected anything from me.
I could talk or not talk to anyone.
No one knew me.
It was a break from my reality for a moment in time.
I found peace there.
We all need peace.


 
See, life is funny.
But any moment good or bad, will one day be a blip.
I hope that all your days are filled with joy, but if not, don't worry.
Even a sparkly girl like myself has struggle to shine a time or four.
The beautiful thing is that if you have sparkled once,
you'll sparkle again.
I believe in you.
You will sparkle.
LOOK!
Look at that!!!
I can see it already.

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